The HOE Phase

EVERYONE NEEDS A HOE PHASE. EVERYONE IN TODAY’S DATING WORLD EVERYONE NEEDS A HOE PHASE. NOW LET ME BE CLEAR THE HOE PHASE DOES NOT MEAN YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE. LET ME REPEAT MYSELF, IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU SLEEP WITH EVERYONE.

The Hoe Phase – defined as the period of your life where you should engage in consistent dating. Now some will say this is a contradiction to a previous piece written about Broken Pieces. It doesn’t though, because you should still make the people you are dating earn the pieces of you. They should earn your time, attention, your body, and possibly a relationship.

But, yes date many and date often during this time. Learn more about what you want and what you don’t want. Learn to in some cases to just let go and be. Learn in other cases what you won’t stand for any longer. Learn about the things that truly matter in making a relationship work. Eat, Drink and be Merry; it’s your hoe phase. The phase is all about self, self-reflection and simplicity/joy of life. Don’t make this phase complicated with deep emotions and attachment. That’s not what this is for.

I got rules for you…

First the rules, this is a comprehensive list of rules, that if carried out right won’t get you caught up and will have you on the right path.

  1. Be honest with everyone you are dealing with during this phase. “I’m just dating right now, I’m dating multiple people at the moment. No I’m not sleeping with everyone, just dating. I may or may not sleep with you. This may or may not lead to anything, I’m going with the flow!”
  2. Compare and contrast who you’re dating. This isn’t to be shallow, but to give you a real perspective on what you like and don’t like. And more importantly who the person is. Who is consistent? Who is appreciative? Who seems thoughtful? These are things that we should be looking for anytime we’re dating. This is how someone earns the pieces of you! This is crucially important during the hoe phase, because while you’re dating multiple people, you don’t want to be wasting your time.
  3. Have deep conversation, you only get to compare and contrast about real things when you’re discussing real things. Take time to discuss particulars that will allow you to have a deep understanding of who the person is, experiences that shape them and give you background on them. So, if you ever were in a relationship with them, you have some knowledge of how it might be. The conversations don’t necessarily have to always be around what a relationship might be like, but conversations that give you context about being in one with them.

So what if you think you found “the one” during your hoe phase? GO FOR IT! Life is all about taking chances and seeing where it might go. The hoe phase is just that a phase, it’s not a permanent lifestyle. Most important for the hoe phase is that you walk away feeling empowered with knowledge about self and knowledge about what you would like for your future dating and relationship life.

So while in the phase, take chances, live life, be fulfilled, lower disappointment, experience joy, have a taste of ecstasy, and discover the nuances of the dating world. Because even if this particular hoe phase doesn’t lead to anything significant in terms of dating and relationships, you walk away with

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